Fetlife is one of the most popular websites for BDSM lovers on the internet. Unlike some other similar sites and apps on the internet, it isn't a dating site. Instead, Fetlife is a community for all of those who like the world of BDSM or kinks in general.
One of the great benefits of Fetlife is that it has a lot of features that are available for free. You can find communities, groups, ads, and pictures. All of these features attract users to Fetlife. The community is also large with plenty of users from around the world.
While Fetlife is a great BDSM community, that doesn't mean that it is perfect. It also isn't the right website for everyone. For those that want a different place to find a new BDSM partner, we have created this list of 10 fetlife alternatives to take a look at.
10 Sites like Fetlife:
- - BDSMdatingonly
- - r/BDSMCommunity
- - Tinder
- - Collarspace
- - KinkD
- - Whilpr
- - Fetish.com
- - TheCage
- - AdultFriendFinder
- - Fetster
#1 BDSMdatingonly
First on our list is BDSMdatingonly, one of the most popular BDSM dating sites. It features personal ads from users around the world. People turn to the site for finding partners for one time BDSM encounters, online BDSM chat, long-term BDSM relationships, and everywhere in between. Users can set up and browse the website for free to make sure that it is going to be an effective option for them to find a partner.
- - Alternative Bondage Community Pages
- - Live Webcams and Recorded Videos
- - Search Filters to Find Anyone
- - Around The Clock Support
Not only is BDSMdatingonly a great place to go meet other people, it is a great place to learn. The site has an active blog with articles on all sorts of topics to help you grow in your BDSM lifestyle. Even if you don't end up using BDSMdatingonly, we recommend checking out the blog.
#2 r/BDSMCommunity
Reddit is one of the most popular social communities in the world. People from around the world turn to Reddit to interact with each other on just about every level. One of the biggest benefits of the site is that you can set up an anonymous account so you don't have to give out any more information than you want to.
Reddit is divided into SubReddits that deal with specific topics. For those looking for a good match in the world of Reddit for finding BDSM partners, take a look at r/BDSMCommunity.
- - Anonymous Accounts
- - Mods to Regulate the Forum Style Interactions
- - Free Chat Feature to Chat with Users
- - Plenty of Other Subreddits Dedicated to BDSM
It is important that you read the rules whenever you are getting on a SubReddit, each one has its own set of rules that are enforced by the moderators. You don't want to get kicked out before you have the chance to find someone to have fun with.
#3 Tinder
Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps in the modern world. No matter what kind of dating you are looking for, you have probably considered using Tinder. Even if you aren't single you have at least heard of the app where you swipe to indicate whether you are interested in someone or not.
One of the reasons that Tinder is great for BDSM is that it uses simplified profiles and the swiping concept is much easier than sending messages to every single profile you might be interested in. Not to mention that the Tinder is free.
- - Free Account and Messaging
- - Simple Swipe Based Matching
- - Ability to Upgrade Visibility
- - No Long Profiles
- - Lots of Casual Users
Don't forget that Tinder isn't built specifically for those who are looking for BDSM partners. You will have to filter through some users to find the perfect match. It's a good thing that Tinder has so many users though.
#4 Collarspace
Collarspace might appear to be one of the most basic sites on this list but don't let the look for the site fool you. It is a great website designed to be a directory for people from all parts of BDSM to turn to in order to find partners. It has a great search system that outputs results in a simple view that you can easily use without a large learning curve.
- - A Great Search System for a Massive Directory of Users
- - LiveWebcams
- - Video Chat Room
- - A Locals Section
- - Events Listings (From Around the World)
- - Resources and Great Priced Toys
While Collarspace is primarily a place to help you connect with potential BDSM lovers, it is also a great place to learn about the community and find out information about BDSM. In some ways it is very close to what Fetlife is like in that way.
#5 KinkD
Kinkd is the site that people turn to when they are looking for more than just kinky talk online. It is the home of kinky sex connections on the internet. You turn to the site when you are looking for a kinky BDSM hookup or relationship in your area soon. It isn't for those who are looking to have long conversations on a dating site.
You can be from any level of BDSM experience when you turn to Kinkd. In fact, the description of their BDSM section talks specifically about beginners to the world of BDSM.
Kinkd is similar to Tinder, it uses a swiping feature to help you match with users. Something that has seen great popularity recently, especially among younger users. One of the key features of Kinkd though is that it verifies users to help ensure that the BDSM hookup community founded on Kinkd is safer. Meeting up on the internet can be dangerous and identity verification is a great step to bring safety back to the community.
#6 Whilpr
Another online BDSM community is Whilpr. They call themselves a hub for BDSM, fetishes, alternative lifestyles, and kinks. The site focuses on being an open community for everyone and anyone that fits anywhere in the BDSM world. That includes beginners.
One of the reasons to turn to Whilpr over Fetlife is the fact that it is meant to be a dating site while also being a community. You get the best of both worlds and that is something that Fetlife doesn't offer.
- - Photo Based Matching App
- - Great Chat Room
- - Photos and Videos
- - Discussions and Events for Users to Interact With
Whiplr isn't a big name in the BDSM community but that comes with a great benefit. It isn't a hub for fake accounts and scammers. You will find that a good number of the users are real people looking for fun BDSM interactions.
#7 Fetish.com
Fetish.com is a dating community for those who are into fetishes and BDSM. It is meant to be a kink-positive area where people aren't shamed for what they like. You will still find people that don't share the same interests but they won't make fun of you or judge you for your interests.
The site takes on the platform of being a dating site but the makers have thrown in a variety of extra features. Take a look at some of the features you will find on Fetish.com:
- - Fetish Chat Rooms
- - BDSM and Fetish Forum
- - BDSM Training School
- - Kink Map of Events
- - BDSM Local Pages
You can join Fetish.com for free so that you can get used to the website and find what kind of users are available in your area. Just as a heads up, the main focus of the site is UK users.
#8 TheCage
TheCage is another site that looks a little less impressive than it actually is. You might take TheCage as just another internet forum at first if you don't pay close attention, it looks like one after all. Forum is only a small part of what you get from using TheCage though.
TheCage is meant to be another true community for those who are into BDSM and kinky. It contains a little bit of everything and is more than just a dating site. Each part of the site is broken down into a different portion of the front page of TheCage.
- - BDSM Blogs
- - Naughty Audio Clips
- - Forums for Everything
- - Personal Ads
- - User Magazines
- - Podcasts Section
- - List of BDSM Related Tweets
One of the best ways to get started on TheCage is jumping in and starting to navigate around the site. This can be done for free. Interacting with other users can help to build your presence and make your profile more trusted on the site. It also helps you to learn about the community and you can enjoy yourself at the same time.
#9 AdultFriendFinder
AdultFriendFinder is one of the oldest dating sites on the internet. It was originally designed to help people make friends or traditional dating partners but it quickly became something more. It became a place for people to find matches for adventures of all kinds, especially casual encounters.
With how long AdultFriendFinder has been live, they have established their name and have one of the largest user bases of dating sites on the internet.
- - Chat Rooms
- - Sex Positive Community
- - Nude Webcam Chats
- - Refined Search Features and Filters
- - Dating Forums
AdultFriendFinder has a lot of wonderful features but it is a site for people looking for all kinds of adult friends. You will have to navigate around those who aren't interested in a BDSM hookup.
#10 Fetster
Fetster is one of the big names in the world of BDSM communities. It has been around for a while and the design has stayed pretty familiar to users who were with the site from the beginning. While the simple look may make you think the website doesn't have a lot to offer, it really just works to make the website simpler to use.
One of the big promises of Fetster is that the website is free, has always been free, and will remain free forever. It is the whole concept of the site. It isn't meant to be a money making platform for those who create large dating sites. Instead, it is a true community for those who are in it.
As soon as you join Fetster you can start using all of the features, take a look at some of the features that are waiting for you:
- - Unlimited Free Messaging
- - Great User Matching
- - Join and Create Groups
- - Confessions For Users to Get Hot
- - Design Your Own Profile The Way You Want
- - Privacy Focus
As long as you can get down with the old-style of Fetster, you can get a lot out of the site. More than most people might think. The biggest benefit is that you get it all for free. How many sites can you say that for?