Domination and submission is a popular activity. Almost everyone engages in some level of dom sub relationship in their sexual activities, some just don't realize it. When you get into BDSM though there are rules that you need to know, especially when you are using a Dom Sub dating site. Today we are going to cover some of the dominant and submissive rules that you should know before you get into a relationship.
Consent Above All Else
Consent is a crucial part of any relationship. Before engaging in anything sexual or BDSM related, make sure that you get consent from anyone and everyone involved. It is a good idea to at least talk through the basics of every scene before starting so that you can get a level of consent before starting. This helps to prevent problems later down the road.
Communication is a Must
No matter what role you play in a BDSM relationship you need to be able to communicate with your partners. That includes the submissive. The communication is there to allow people to say what they want and what they are not comfortable with. Listen to your partner and do not shut them down.
When you communicate with your partner, it is important that you be honest. Without honesty anything can happen. Chances are you will not be able to have the most fun possible with your BDSM activities. A lack of honest communication will violate one of the rules you will read about later, trust is a must.
Limits Must Be Respected
One of the things that you communicate about before engaging in Dom/sub relationships is limits. These are activities or acts that you do not want to engage in. No matter what you must respect the limits that your partner sets just like they must agree to yours. Limits need to be set beforehand. However, a person always has the chance to say stop to an activity with their safeword.
If you don't respect someone's limits, you can get in serious trouble and hurt someone.
Set and Obey Safewords
Along the same lines as limits, safewords are a must. Safewords are words or phrases that tell your partner to stop. They should be something that you wouldn't say during a BDSM scene, such as pineapple juice. Safewords are sacracient in the world of BDSM and are always to be respected. Make sure that you set them before you begin having fun.
If you and your partner want to, you can set another set of safewords that tell your partner to slow down or move onto something else. Just because the slow word doesn't mean stop doesn't mean it shouldn't be respected. Any safeword that is ignored can cause a lot of harm.
Judgement Free Zone
A lot happens in a BDSM relationship. At some point your partner is going to ask you to try something that you aren't sure if you will like or not. You may initially be turned off by the idea. An important rule with BDSM is that it is a judgement free zone. No matter what someone says, you need to respect it without thinking differently about it.
It comes down to remaining open minded while you are having a BDSM relationship.
Trust is a Must
Trust is something that needs to exist when you are in a Dom/sub relationship. You need to be able to trust that you are safe, even if you are tied up or otherwise immobilized. Being in a compromising position happens a lot in a BDSM scene. Before you go into a BDSM relationship, get to know your partner a little. Build a level of trust that will help to make the experience more enjoyable.
A lot of people expect the perfect fantasy when they engage in BDSM. It is essential to manage your expectations to keep them realistic. You are going into an experience that will be enjoyable but it may be slightly different than you thought about it. Half the fun of a BDSM scene is seeing where the scene goes and enjoying the time with your partner.
Also, do not set expectations with everyday life that your partner or you cannot do. For example, your partner isn't going to call you Master in front of everyone that you talk to.
Maintain Your Health
The last thing you want is to suffer a health problem while you are in a BDSM scene. While there is no complete guarantee that you do not come across health complications at any point of your life, it is important that you maintain your health to the best of your ability. Go to doctor's visits, go to the dentist, etc.
Mental health is just as important as physical health too. Make sure that you seek help should you need it.
Part of maintaining your health is never engaging in any BDSM activity that could harm your health. Marks and bruises can be fun and are okay if it is consensual. Just do not cross any lines that could result in harm.
Set Your Own Rules
Part of BDSM is setting your own rules. After agreeing to the standard Dom/sub rules, you should establish your own rules for your Dom/sub relationship. These are rules that you both agree to follow. Make sure to establish whether the rules are set in stone or if there is some flexibility. If there is some flexibility, make sure that you establish just how much flexibility there is.
Try not to set too many rules. If too many rules are set, you will find that it can be hard to remember all of them. That can result in problems. Should you feel that you have too many rules, you can always try writing them down.
In the end, BDSM relationships are custom tailored to those who are involved in the relationship. Discussing the rules is rule number one. Maintain an open line of communication and you will find that your relationship is far more enjoyable. Do not take any of the rules for granted either.