One very common question that people who like BDSM hear has to do with health. Is BDSM a healthy sexual practice? The short answer is yes. But for those who truly love BDSM, we feel it is important that other people fully understand why this question is asked and the answer.
Why Do People Wonder About BDSM Being Healthy?
Social Stigma, Still Present but Diminishing
One of the biggest reasons people tend to question whether BDSM is healthy or not is the social stigma attached to kink in the bedroom. Whether that stigma comes from discussing bedroom topics in public or from religious beliefs that sex should be just for procreation and not recreation, there has been a stigma there for ages. Luckily, this stigma is starting to fade as society becomes more accepting.
A General Lack of BDSM Education
People also tend to be uneducated in the ways of BDSM so most of their knowledge comes from what they hear about through friends or what they see in movies such as Fifty Shades of Gray. It is important to note that these movies are not true examples of what BDSM is. BDSM is not a process that forces someone into being an unwilling slave. BDSM is about the powerplay between a willing submissive and their Dominant. If you cross that line from willing, you are no longer in the world of BDSM.
Nervousness or Anxiety About BDSM
Most people have also never tried BDSM so they don't know what it feels like to practice it. They are curious but nervous at the same time. Often times, they interpret that nervousness as hesitance over whether BDSM is healthy or not.
So Why Is BDSM A Healthy Sexual Practice?
Exploration of One's Desires
First, everyone has their own sexual desires. Even in vanilla sex (plain, kink-free sex) people have their own personal desires. BDSM is just sexual desires of a different nature expressed in a consenting way.
BDSM Practitioners Are Generally Healthier
The stereotype of BDSM practitioners is that they have a pathological problem. However, a 2013 study found that people who practice BDSM were more open to new experiences and other people. They also had a higher sense of well-being.
Safety Is A Priority in BDSM
In real BDSM it is all about care. You establish multiple safety steps such as never engaging in a scene without having a safeword. Aftercare is also an important part of the BDSM practice. This refers to the steps taken after a BDSM scene to ensure that all parties are physical clean and safe but it also refers to taking the time to collect mentally and disconnect from the scene before returning to whatever else you are doing.
Equality Matters In BDSM
While an outsider thinks that a Dominant works just for their own pleasure, they are seeking to not only pleasure themselves but deliver pleasure to the submissive who enjoys the act of submitting. Both parties care for each other equally and enjoy the experience as equals.
Where Do Problems Arise In BDSM?
If BDSM is healthy, then does that mean that problems don't exist? No. It is possible for BDSM to be unhealthy, but it is not caused by the practice of BDSM itself. Studies have shown that problems that used to be associated with BDSM actually come from outside BDSM.
Discrimination and Anxiety
The social stigmas have made BDSM a closet activity and prevent people from openly talking about BDSM are one of the major problem causers for those who practice BDSM. They either experience discrimination because of the fact that they practice BDSM or fear that they will.
Taking It Too Far
Just like with vanilla sex, it is possible for someone to take a BDSM scene too far. Push their partner beyond their limits. That is why safewords are established and limits are discussed beforehand. Most people who engage in vanilla sex do not do either of those steps. Those who practice BDSM keep safety in mind and attempt to plan ahead.
There are many different sexual practices in the world. Kinks vary greatly from ones that people dismiss as so mundane that they hardly consider them a kink to ones such as BDSM that have been socially stigmatized. The truth is that almost every kink can be practiced both safely and healthily. In fact, those who practice BDSM are often more open minded, more well-adjusted, friendlier, and more aware of their bodies.