BDSM is a wonderful world full of fun and a variety of different acts. This includes fun activities like bondage, pain play, humiliation, and more. While these activities are seriously fun they are also activities that require a fair amount of trust. In order to ensure that trust and safety when engaging in these fun activities one of the important steps is to set up BDSM hard and soft limits before you start having fun.
Before you can start setting BDSM limits it is important to know what they are and that there are actually two different types of limits, soft limits and hard limits. To help you better prepare for the fun that you can find in BDSM we are going to give you the information you need to know about these two BDSM limits.
What Are BDSM Limits?
We all have activities that we enjoy more than others when it comes to sex. In the reverse there are plenty of activities that you probably don't want to do. Then there are activities you have no interest in ever trying or that may bring up bad memories. This is where limits come into BDSM play. BDSM Limits are activities that you do not want to engage in and that your partner should not attempt.
When you are in control or being controlled during sexual activities limits are incredibly important as your partner may not be able to speak in the moment.
Soft Limits
One of the two types of imits that are out there is soft limits. A soft limit is something that you don't like and aren't directly interested in but are okay with being pushed. Think of it as a limit that you are willing to have tested but not directly crossed.
One of the reasons that soft limits exist is so that you can be pushed out of your comfort zone and to help you open your eyes when you are okay experiencing activities. You never know whether when your soft limits are pushed whether or not you
Hard Limits
Unlike a soft limit, a hard limit is an activity that you have absolutely no interest in and do not want to do under any condition. When you set a hard limit your partner should be willing to respect it no matter what. Essentially a hard limit is telling someone no in advance.
Discussing Limits First
Limits are something that need to be discussed before you start the fun part of a relationship, aka before you start any BDSM scenes. While you can have a discussion about limits over text or the computer, it is best to do so in person so you can get to know more about your partner and what they like. Sometimes these conversations can be awkward but it is important to be honest during them as they set the future for your relationship and ensure that no one gets hurt during a BDSM scene.
Do not have the communication with your partner when you have been drinking a fair amount because it is important that you remember the limits but also that your judgement not be impared when you are trying to explain your limits. Also, it is important to never say that you have no limits. BDSM is a huge world and there plenty of things out there that you could be asked to try, make it clear whether you want to engage in certain activities or not.
Safewords Is The Key
You won't always be able to discuss every limit that you have, partially due to the fact that you may not know all the limits that you have. This is where safewords come into play, a safeword is a word that signals your partner that they are doing something that you do not want to do. Once a safeword is said your partner will know to stop what they are doing.
Just like you discuss your limits before a BDSM scene it is important to discuss your safewords beforehand so that your partner knows your safeword and you know theirs. Make sure that the safeword is something that you wouldn't normally say during sex.
Limits are an important part of setting a BDSM scene and living in the BDSM lifestyle. Writing down your limits and being able to tell your partner what your limits are is a skill that you need to develop if you are interested in having a safe venture into the world of BDSM.