Dominatrixes are women around the world who like to take charge when it comes to being with a man. Technically the term can apply to any dominant woman but it is most commonly used when referring to a woman who dominates people as their profession. Because the BDSM and D/s world have been in the shadows for so long many people are left with questions.
These powerful women are very open minded and willing to do a lot with you. Most dominatrixes will draw the line at what are called limits though.
What Is a Limit?
A limit is an action, kink, or other aspect of a sexual encounter that someone will not engage in. Almost everyone has limits of some form. As an example, a common limit is that no visible marks may be left behind from play. Limits are an important part of any sexual encounter but when it comes to BDSM they are even more important. Without limits a scene might not only lack enjoyment but be harmful to one or more party involved.
Some limits come from a personal dislike of a specific kink or action. Others come for legal and moral reasons.
Most people do not like when you push their limits. On the other hand, some people may set what they refer to as soft limits. These are limits that they are okay with being pushed but they don't want them to be surpassed. For example, they may not be okay with the actual action of something but teasing that you will do that action may be okay.
Whenever you have an encounter everyone should discuss their limits before you start any kind of activities. If your partner hasn't brought them up, it is perfectly okay for anyone involved in a sexual encounter to bring up the topic of limits. That includes the submissive person. Some people tend to shy away from conversations about limits because they find it awkward but it is crucial that you have the discussion, even if it is over a phone or computer for those that aren't comfortable discussing it in person.
Why Won't Many Dominatrixes have Sex with You?
It Is Illegal
The easiest way to view the answer to this question is to view sex as a limit for a dominatrix. It may not be a limit of moral or personal like/dislike reasons, but is most commonly a limit due to legality. In almost any state in the United States and in a good number of countries around the world, it is illegal to get paid to have sex. It is also illegal to pay to have sex.
Most dominatrixes do what they do because they enjoy being dominant. It is a career for them but a career they enjoy. Having sex with clients would violate the law and thus put their career at risk. For that reason alone most dominatrixes will say no to sex.
It Is not Safe to Have Sex with Clients
Even in places where prostitution is illegal some dominatrixes will say no to sex. The reason for this is the second reason that a dominatrixes doesn't want to have sex with clients. Sex with clients that you do not know is risky. When a dominatrix has sex they have to worry about getting pregnant and getting diseases. Even with condoms and other measures, it is impossible to completely eliminate the risk of sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy.
Here is something to thing about too if you want to have sex with a dominatrix. You may not have any diseases but you don't know about the dominatrixes other clients and partners. It is better to be safe than sorry.
As a good practice you shouldn't even ask your dominatrix if they will have sex with you. Many dominatrixes have a policy that they will not take any client that asks questions like that.
It Isn't Enjoyable
The last reason a dominatrix may not want to have sex with you is that they don't enjoy sex when it comes to being dominant. There are many different kinks when it comes to domination. Plenty of dominatrixes out there enjoy activities that don't involve sex. While you are the client, the dominatrix still has a say in what services they offer. If they don't like to have sex with their clients because it isn't enjoyable, they won't.
Dominatrixes are professionals at what they do. They get paid to deliver the experience of domination and will work to meet your kinks as long as they don't cross their limits. For the reasons mentioned above you will have a hard time finding a dominatrix that will have sex with clients, especially in the United States.