Training your slave can be quite the experience. There is something to be said about molding someone in the world of kink and teaching them. At the same time, it isn't something that everyone is ready to do. If you are reading this article it is probably because you are trying to prepare to train your first slave. Let's take a look at the most basic slave training guide we can give you.
One thing that you need to know is that slave training is just over and done with. It takes time, just like anything else you do. The two of you have to learn how to work with each other and you need to correct the mistakes that will arise. Be prepared for it to take time and you will likely make mistakes, especially when training your first slave. It will all add to the experience.
Part of preparing is also learning. As a new dominant you are going to want to do as much learning as you can. Find reliable sites, such as BDSMdatingonly, to read more about what is out there and what to do. You are already on the first step of this but the more information you go into being a dominant with, the more options you will have at your fingertips.
Before going into anything that resembles kink or domination there is an important step that you need to undergo. Both you and your sub need to discuss limits. Limits are activities that you do not want to engage in. For example, if you don't like foot play and will not engage in it, mention that. Limits should always be respected.
Along with limits comes safewords. Safewords are a word or saying that can end the scene quickly. They are used when someone encounters one of their limits, doesn't feel safe, or feels uncomfortable. Your safeword should be something that you wouldn't normally say in a scene, such as fruit juice.
Decide What You Want to Be Called
Your slave is going to need something to address you by. While the traditional options are ma'am or mistress, there are many other options out there that you might be interested in. Try out some different options and settle on what is right for you.
Plan Out Some Scenes
There are a lot of different things that you can do as a dominant and submissive duo. One of the things that you can do to prepare for that is to come up with scenes so that you have them ready for when a slave is ready to play. Having some scenes ready to go also gives you some material to work with if you have a spontaneous session.
Rules are important. If you don't have a set of rules your sub won't know what they are and aren't allowed to do. You shouldn't have to write the list down but you do have to tell it to them. Try to come up with at least a basic set of rules before you start training your slave so that you have them in place.
There are plenty of common rules. Some of them revolve around what a sub can wear or say. It is also common to make a submissive ask permission before doing many things. In the end though, the rules are all up to you and your relationship.
Likes and Dislikes
Establish your likes and dislikes with your slave. It is important that they know what you like and don't, this will help them to know what they should and shouldn't do. At the same time that you give yours, you need to get theirs. Both parties need to enjoy each other during the scene in order to make it the most entertaining.
Break Them In
You may want to jump straight into being a dominant and going for your deepest desires. You may also be tempted to try and intimidate your submissive. Neither of these are things that you will want to do. Instead, start slow and work your way up. You are training your slave to be someone new by keeping them humiliated, confused, and active. Even if that activity is just thinking.
Each submissive treats this a different way. One of the ways to do this is to constantly be on top of them. Make them work, make them think they are doing things wrong, even if they aren't, and make them humiliated. Once they have embraced being your submissive or they are willing to do what you tell them to (within their limits) build them up into a proud submissive. One that will do what you want and will be fun to play with.
Punish Your Slave
Punishment in a dominant/submissive relationship is interesting. It isn't simply something that someone dreads. A submissive both wants to be punished and doesn't want to be punished. Find fun and unique ways to punish your slave that they will both enjoy and will correct the behavior.
Make sure you read our last bullet point so that you are punishing your slave fairly. Just like everything else, you don't want to punish someone for something that they weren't able to do.
Reward Your Slave
Just as important as it is to punish your slave, it is important to reward them. When your submissive does something well, tell them good job. Give them something they want. Or do something that makes them happy. This helps to keep them doing the same thing. When you are first starting out, make sure to limit how much you reward your slave.
As you go on, reward your submissives more and more. This allows you to first break them into something moldable and then to build them into the sub that you expect them to be.
Judge Everything They Do
Every submissive learns at a different rate. It is important to look at what your submissive does and judge it. You might have to look at the tasks you give and adjust them to meet the needs of your relationship. You also want to understand what is holding a submissive back so that you can work with them to grow and experience new things. Just make sure that there is actually something holding them back and they aren't holding themselves back.
The relationship between a dominant and their submissive is a special one. It involves a lot of trust and work. It doesn't come naturally and is established through training and fun. Using the items in this guide will help you to establish that fun relationship. Just make sure not to rush into it and take your time enjoying the experience.